Family Month 2024: Coping With Tensions In The Family

Preacher Huijun - 5 May 2024

Family Month 2024: Coping With Tensions In The Family

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Families are given by God, it is not a mistake; He has good purpose.

  • Two key elements of family – marriage and parenthood, help us understand God.
  • Family provides an environment where we learn how to love one another.
  • Family also pictures the gospel.


Family tensions are more a spiritual than a relational problem.

  • Human sin.
      • <James 4> 1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
      • Jesus is the opposite of selfish.
      • <Jas 4:6> “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
  • <Eph 5> 1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
  • 15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
  • 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
  • 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 


  • In Greek text, no “submit” in <v22>:
    • 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
    • 22 wives, to the own husbands as to the Lord
    • Family relationship is linked to reverence for Christ.
  • Our personal family relationship is related to the bigger family of God – Church.


  • <Eph 6> 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
  • The devil will scheme to diminish the importance of God’s family over our individual families.
  • Our family needs God’s family (the church).


Restoring family relationship starts from restoring relationship with God.

  • Our hope should be in God, not our families.


What next to cope with tensions in the family?

  • Forgive, and not repeat the sins that hurt us.
    • <Eph 4:32> “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
  • Praying heals relationships.
  • <Ro 12:18> If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
  • See tensions as opportunities to turn to God.
  • Church should be a haven for those facing family tensions.
Preacher Huijun
Preacher Huijun

Huijun joined The Life Church and Missions (Singapore) as a preacher in 2012. She is effectively bilingual and preaches occasionally at the Chinese service. She graduated from Singapore Bible College and currently lives in Singapore with her husband, Chengji.

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