To Marry or Be Single?

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<1 Co 7> 25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.

39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

1. Marriage is not a sin but those who marry will face many troubles.

<v28> But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
God uses marriage for sanctification, not for self-centred fulfilment.
Marriage can be attacked by the enemy, the devil.
When 2 sinners marry and God is not at the centre of marriage, it can bring more problems than it solves.
Not true that marriage completes your life and without it, your life cannot be happy.

2. Time is short.

<1 Co 7> 29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
4-5 common human concerns:

(1) Marriage,

(2) Woes of life,

(3) Joys of life,

(4, 5) Material possessions and the use of worldly things.

(1) “those who have wives should live as if they do not”

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” <Lk 14:26>

(2) “those who mourn, as if they did not”

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” <2 Co 4:17-18>

(3) “those who are happy, as if they were not”

Pleasures are not wrong, but what is wrong is to seek pleasures apart from God.

(4, 5) “those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them”

Be good stewards and use things for God’s glory.

3. The unmarried can have undivided devotion to God.

<1 Co 7> 31….For this world in its present form is passing away. 32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

1) Gift of singleness:

“I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” <1 Co 7:7>
- But I don’t feel happy being single?
- But I still desire sex?
- If I’m single now, does it mean I have the gift of singleness?
- Singleness is a gift that God gives everyone at some point in time, some have it temporarily, some permanently.
- <Mt 19> 10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
The hope for the unmarried is not an end to singleness, but satisfaction and joy in the Lord.
Sam Allberry: If marriage shows us the shape of the gospel, singleness shows us its sufficiency.

2) If you are single/unmarried now:

Pray for marriage if u have the desire, but be ready to submit to God’s plans.
Must only consider marrying Christians: “…But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” <1 Co 7:39>
Be in the right (blessed) place.
Work on personal growth in godliness.
Find intimacy and deep friendship in Christian community.
Healthy serving, interests, hobbies.
For those who wish to remarry:
- The widowed: “…But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” <1 Co 7:39>
- The divorced: To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. <1 Co 7:10-11>