It seems like every other day in social media., we will hear about someone lashing out or hurting another person out of anger.
Usually, the video goes viral and it triggers further discussion on who is in the right or wrong, stirring up another wave of anger in others.
As we reflect, we may remember instances when we find ourselves losing temper and overreacting over an offense against us.
We may blame it on the pressure and hurts we are facing that no one else can understand – be it at work or in our relationships.
Or can we also blame it on movies and dramas that glamourise the hero who will find a way to pay back injustice done to him?
Perhaps, we could be living in a culture that exalts the image of self so much that anything that annoys us deserve a strong response to preserve our dignity and pride? Anything less than that will make us look like a loser or pushover.
Whatever you think is the reason why we are living in an age of rage, let us look to the Word of God to help us respond correctly with gentleness and kindness, when confronted with things that can arouse our anger.
The Word of God tells us in Ephesians 4:2 that we are to be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
In Colossians 3:12-14, it says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Be angry but do not sin
First, I want to acknowledge that we live in a broken world and there are injustice and it is not possible for us to be never angry.
The Scripture tells us, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold..”
It also pointed out to us that the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
In several accounts in the bible, it was described that Jesus expressed His anger. And since Jesus never sinned, it means that there is a form of anger that is righteous and godly.
In fact, people get angry because what they love is threatened. For Jesus, He cares for the glory of God, so his anger is an expression of grief and sorrow against things that dishonour God.
1) Ask why you are angry (situational)
I think the first thing for us to do before we are tempted to lose our temper is to ask the question – why are you even angry?
Like I said earlier, anger is a response to a threat to something we love.
Of course, we can be angry when people accuse us of things we did not do and tarnish our reputation. But do we even get half as angry when the name of God is being tarnished?
When we start to reflect on our episodes of anger, we may find that we have what St Augustine called “disordered love”. We have elevated our love for ourselves above all the other loves that we ought to have, in contrary to God’s original design.
Most of the time, we just love ourselves too much. What we have been strongly fighting for in our anger is just our ego, our pride.
2) Remember we are neither just, nor the justifier (God)
Even if we seem to have a good reason to be angry, we must remember that we are neither just, nor the justifier.
We are not just because we are not all-knowing. Often, in our anger, we become unjust and repay evil with more evil.
An example is in Genesis 34. When Dinah, the daughter of Jacob is sexually assaulted by Shechem, her brothers plotted a revenge and killed all the men in the city.
But the bible tells us in Romans “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. We can trust God because He is just.
We are also not the justifier, for ourselves or for others. For we are justified by faith in Christ. Sometimes we get angry because we do not get the recognition and approval from others. But why do we always have to be right in the eyes of the others. Hasn’t Jesus made us right with God?
3) Be transformed to be more like Christ (self)
Stopping to reflect on our own anger and remembering a righteous God who is just and the justifier is not going to be natural for us. We need to be transformed as a person.
Let us seek God’s grace to grow in love so that we can give grace to others the way God has been so gracious to us.
Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us
to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 5 adds to say
Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Truly, in Christ, we are dearly loved and blessed abundantly, beyond all measures. If God is for us, who can be against us?
Knowing these help us not to be easily angered by trivial matters.
4) Do not stir up anger
Sometimes, people around us may be impatient and lose their temper easily or their anger may stir up anger in us. Proverbs 15:1 tells us “a gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Though the people around us may be angry easily, or even vent their frustration on us, but we need not join them. Instead, we have a responsibility to help them calm down and deal with their anger in a godly way. We should also seek to understand why they are behaving in a certain way that is making us angry. They could be helpless and harassed, facing spiritual and mental struggles that we do not know about.
God has asked us to live at peace with everyone. Indeed, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
May we all have the wisdom to live with gentleness and kindness in this angry world.
